Guide to Self-Growth: We frequently believe that self-improvement will be simple, pleasurable, and gratifying. It surely can be, but there is another facet of the self-development process that is rarely discussed. That’s when everything starts to go apart.
Learning to go inside oneself and get clear about some things is an important component of self-development. Most of the time, this entails identifying and removing inner obstructions. These are frequently deeply ingrained views that we have developed over time.
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We frequently believe that self-improvement will be simple, pleasurable, and gratifying. It surely can be, but there is another facet of the self-development process that is rarely discussed. That’s when everything starts to go apart.
Learning to go inside oneself and get clear about some things is an important component of self-development. Most of the time, this entails identifying and removing inner obstructions. These are frequently deeply ingrained views that we developed as children or in the early stages of our lives. Isn’t that appealing? It’s extremely good because our beliefs are often what keep us from living truly productive lives. These are the beliefs that keep us in self-destructive routines and have a detrimental impact on our lives in general. As a result, dissolving them is a fantastic notion.
“Be patient with yourself. You are growing stronger every day. The weight of the world will become lighter…and you will begin to shine brighter. Don’t give up.” – Robert Tew
The difficulty is that our contemporary lives are constructed on the foundation of these deeply held ideas. When inner blocks are removed, vast holes appear in our foundation, which is unable to support whatever is placed above them. Something will inevitably fall into the hole, creating agony, chaos, and panic.
That is exactly what occurred to me this week. My eyes were awakened hugely regarding a roadblock I’d been fighting since I was a kid. I now understood why it was there, and I knew precisely what I needed to do to get rid of it. As a result, I set out to accomplish just that—and then everything went wrong. That is the euphemism of the century. Everything I thought I knew about my life turned out to be a lie, and I was completely disturbed.
I was shell-shocked for a few days. Then there were a few more days of mourning. Then everything became clear. Finally, I saw what was going on and could see how everything was linked together. It was no coincidence that everything came crashing down just as I was making progress on my inner obstacles. They crumbled because I was making headway on my inner stumbling blocks.
“Take criticism seriously, but not personally. If there is truth or merit in the criticism, try to learn from it. Otherwise, let it roll right off you.” – Hillary Clinton
It’s a good thing, as difficult as it is because my life circumstances were constructed on lies. The lies were the early self-perceptions I had developed from childhood. My living circumstances began to change as soon as I began to change those ideas. Change is healthy, but it can also be frightening and sometimes painful. It is, however, vital because to construct something better, we must first demolish what we have.
In my own experiences, I’ve found a strong correlation between the size of the barriers we dissolve and the extent of the harm they inflict on our lives. If we dissolve a minor impediment, something minor will break apart. Perhaps our automobile will break down or we will contract a little ailment. When a massive obstacle is removed, something equally large will begin to slide into the abyss. Our relationship may end. Alternatively, we risk losing our jobs. We could also be struck by a more serious disease or accident. As terrifying as this may sound, it’s an essential part of the process since it forces us to sit up and pay attention! The portions of our lives that start to fall apart are usually not that terrific, to begin with. Even though we may have felt at ease with them, they did not serve our higher purpose.
So, when everything goes apart, how do we deal with the anguish and fear? Our first instinct may be to flee to avoid feeling the agony. Another option is to try to put things back together with the way they were before they broke apart. However, this just slows down the process. Keep in mind that destruction is necessary to make way for something better to be rebuilt.
We must persevere to complete the procedure. Yes, there will almost certainly be some pain and discomfort. There will be trepidation. Anger and grief will be present. But there will also be a spiritual awakening unlike any we’ve ever known, and our eyes will be opened in profound ways.
Here’s how to stick with the procedure until it’s finished:
1) Get a better look. When everything starts to fall apart, pay close attention to the specific situations that have started to deteriorate. This reveals the most significant lies (limiting ideas) you’ve made about yourself and your life. Look for a link between the blocks you’re removing and the situations that are ripping apart at the seams. For example, if you’ve started exploring your genuine talents and abilities and then lost your job, a little introspection may reveal that your position didn’t allow you to USE those talents and abilities, so it needed to be eliminated to make room for a more satisfying profession. Sometimes the links are a little hazier, and you’ll have to dig a little harder to find them. It may take some time to fully comprehend how everything is connected, but if you persevere, you will eventually do so, and you will be able to apply that knowledge to rebuild something greater.
2) Be sad. Yes, you must permit yourself to grieve! Even if the old circumstances were founded on “falsehoods,” you will feel a sense of loss and melancholy when they disintegrate. Allow yourself to experience it. Allow yourself to cry as much as you need to, and be with the sadness for as long as you need to.
“Sometimes in life we take a leap of faith. Remember, the leap is not about getting from one side to the other. It’s simply about taking the leap…and trusting the air, the universal breath, will support your wings so that you may sour.” – Kristi Bowman
3) Carry out the destruction as planned. Don’t try to “fix” everything right away, no matter how much you want to. Rather, actively participate in the eradication of that which no longer benefits you. Yes, it is going to be painful. However, it will be extremely liberating and empowering at the same time. You may feel in command of your circumstances for the first time in your life. You will decide to let go of self-limiting ideas and self-destructive patterns. This “destruction” process can take various forms, but it usually entails letting go of circumstances that don’t align with your newly formed views, such as unproductive relationships, unfulfilling occupations, and so on. Allow yourself to let go of them and prepare to create something more meaningful in their place.
4) Form new beliefs. You’ll need to establish new beliefs to replace your old ones once you’ve dismantled them. Typically, this entails swapping out limiting beliefs for empowering ones. It will take time to properly strengthen the new beliefs in your mind and heart, as this is a separate process. It’s a good idea to write down your old ideas and then write down your new (and generally opposing) opinions next to them. “I am not deserving of love,” for example, is an old notion. A new conviction I am deserving of love. I am deserving of love. Then simply keep repeating these new concepts until they are ingrained in your mind.
5) Begin the rebuilding process. This is the most enjoyable part! However, it can be perplexing. What are we going to construct? And how do you do it? We may be unsure of where to begin anew, especially if the destruction process was very traumatic and life-altering. And the answer is to follow your heart. Consider what you genuinely want your life to be like, and then start taking the measures to make it happen. Getting an intriguing new job, moving to a new location, or forming new relationships are all possibilities. It’s crucial to ensure that your old beliefs have been replaced with new, more empowering ones. Otherwise, you’ll just re-create situations that don’t serve you, and you’ll have to go through the process of destruction all over again! Pay attention to your heart’s urgings and let them lead you along the path to a better existence.
“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” – Steve Maraboli
By no means is this a simple procedure. But it’s oh so rewarding and wonderful if we embrace it and let it happen without battling the pain and fear. As a result of our difficulties and struggles, we achieve new levels of growth, wisdom, and inner power beyond our wildest imaginations. All we have to do now is stick with the process and wait for the rainbows to appear after the storm.